Driver
by Extra-Loki
Summary: Loki insists that Tony teach him to drive. dedicated to albenkind (I hope that's the right user name)


Music was blasting through the workshop of Tony Starks Malibu home, Tony had escaped from the clutches of the evil Pepper Potts who wanted him to attend a daytime charity event...ok so she wasn't evil and the event was for a good cause but god they were boring.  
>Tony was situated under one of his newold vintage cars, he'd just received a new upgrade for it and was itching to get his hands on his car, the charity event would just have to wait.

He had just finished installing the new upgrade to the car when he felt his ears pop, that same kind of feeling that you get when you go into a tunnel on a fast train, the change in pressure. This could only mean 2 things:  
>1. His house had just gone into a tunnel.<br>Or  
>2. His onoff would be God of Mischief lover had entered his room through whatever warp hole he'd conjured.

"Stark?" came Loki's voice loud over the music, so it was number 2 after all. Tony slid from under the car and in-between the waiting legs of Loki's. "Stark." Loki repeated but with a slight fondness to his voice.

"Hey baby," Tony grinned up at the god "what's up?" Loki looked down on him and wrinkled his brow in distaste (which was somewhat hot).

"You are covered in oil." The god pointed out and immediately shimmered his clothes to something less dressy; just a pair of black jeans and a grey cotton jumper that hung down at different lengths on his hips, it looked like something you would buy from All Saints, so tattered but expensive. Tony tried to think of the word for it...distressed!

"Nice of you to notice, I thought you might want a repeat of the uptown girl video."

"I do not know what you are talking about 75% of the time." Loki sighed. Tony only grinned more and sat up.

"75% huh? that's a whole 15% less than when we started seeing each other. I like to think I've cultured you in the ways of the modern day Midgardian."

"Your extensive Bill Murray collection and ABCD music is hardly classed as cultural." Loki was such a snob!

Tony huffed, "It's ACDC!"

"I do not care" Loki inspected his nails to emphasise how much he didn't care "however, there are some things you could introduce me to that would spark my interests."

"Oh yeah? And what pray tell would that be? My God of Snark." Tony slowly rose to his feet and fetched himself a towel to rid some of the oil from his face and hands. He glanced over at Loki who was walking around one of his cars and gliding a sexy finger across the bonnet.

"Cars, I would like to know how to control one." he rested back against the bonnet and smiled smugly, looking like a pin-up model.

"But Whhhyyy?" Tony asked with a look of pure confusing "you can pop in and out of anywhere you want, why drive when you have teleportation nailed?"

"Just so I know I can, Valhalla forbid that I one day have my powers taken from me and I find myself stranded with no means of transport other than that...peasant wagon." he wrinkled his nose up and hissed the last words as if they were tainted.

"You mean a bus?" Tony grinned, god Loki was a snob but he loved that about him.

"Yes, so I would like to know how to control one."

Tony thought about this for a few moments, he guessed there wasn't any harm in Loki driving, unless he decided to go all GTA on the city. Moreover, it's not as if it would take THAT long since Loki was super smart, he'd also probably look pretty hot behind the wheel of an Aston Martin with the top down and a scarf wrapped around his hair to keep it from blowing about. That image brought a goofy grin to Tony's face.  
>"Ok, I guess I could try and teach you."<p>

Loki stepped closer to Tony and wrapped his arms around him then planted a kiss on his lips "Thank you Anthony." the use of Anthony meant he was actually thankful, which was quite rare so best to savour the occasion. He placed his hands on Loki's hips and pulled him to be close to him and kissed him once again, this kiss was more seductive and tender.

"How about you thank me in the back of the car later?" Tony whispered against the gods ear with a sultry voice.

"Teach me first." Loki cooed back and pulled Tony by the hand towards one of his favourite cars.

"Nope not that one, if you scratch it I'll never forgive you." he pulled Loki towards a slightly beaten up vintage volks beetle. Loki practically pouted.

"This is a heap of junk."

"Hey! Once I've done her up she'll look as sexy as the Mark 41, she just needs some love."

"You must have a love for trying to fix broken things." Loki muttered, Tony knew that was more about himself than the cars.

"Sometimes they just need a bit of looking after," He pulled Loki to the passenger's seat and opened the door "I'll drive us to a safe place to practise then it's all yours baby."

Tony drove them to an old airfield, it was hardly ever used and I would come and test run his new cars every now and then. The runway stretched out for a good mile with turns leading to different sections of the runway. He stopped at one end and jumped out the driver's seat "ok Reindeer Games, it's your turn."  
>Loki smirked and shuffled over to the driver's side and waited for Tony to get back in next to him, "Your legs are too small" Loki mocked at the lack of space for his legs.<br>"Reach under the chair and pull the handle to move the seat back," Tony watched as Loki searched for the handle and rolled the seat back "we can't all have supermodel long legs like you." He spanked Loki's right thigh.

"You never complain when said legs are wrapped around you." Loki smirked and fastened his seatbelt, he didn't seen the point but Tony had insisted. "So what do I do?" he looked about the dashboard for buttons to start it.

"Well you have to turn the key to start it first" Tony pointed it out and watched as Loki fumbled about for the key. He turned it and the car coughed and spluttered into life, "well-done, now think of it like this; from left to right is A, B and C," he paused and glanced at Loki to see if he had his attention before continuing. the god was looking at him with concentration, he was really taking this serious. "So A is accelerator, that makes the car move, B is the break and C is the clutch, it changed the gears. You follow?" Loki just nodded with a serious look. "You have different gears, you change them by pressing the clutch and using the stick, so we'd start off in first. Go on." He pointed to the gear stick.  
>Loki knitted his brows together and put his foot on the clutch and changed it into first, he glanced up at Tony to make sure he did it right. The inventor nodded with an encouraging smile. "Easy," Loki grinned "now what?"<br>"We find the bite, it's like when the car wants to move but you won't let it" he shrugged, he wasn't a driving instructor, he had no idea how to explain something that just came so easy to him. "So just put some pleasure on the accelerator and lift up the cutch, when you feel like the car wants to move then take the handle break off and come off the clutch."  
>Loki gripped the wheel and tried to do as Tony had instructed. the car quickly lunged forward and came to an abrupt stop, switching the engine off and sending Tony forward.<br>"What happened?" Loki looked panicked for a moment until Tony started to laugh hard.  
>"You stalled it."<br>"What does that mean? How do I fix it!" Loki snapped and pouted at Tony.  
>"Hahaha, you just need to restart it and not rush next time."<p>

Loki looked annoyed for a moment then restarted the car. It stalled again making Loki slam his hands off the steering wheel "What now?" he yelled. Tony only laughed more.  
>"You need to take it out of gear first." Tony explained.<br>"You didn't tell me that!" Loki snapped and took it out of gear and started it again.  
>Tony shook his head with a smile "You didn't wait for me to tell you, anyway come on get this baby going."<p>

Loki tried again...and again, after stalling the car a number of times he had finally started to get somewhere. "Stark! I'm driving!" he sounded both shocked and amazed.  
>"You are baby, we just need you to go a little fasted, I mean snail speed is good and all but you know maybe something past 3 mph?"<p>

"Don't rush me!" Loki whined and put his foot down and awkwardly changed gears to go faster as Tony instructed, soon Loki was driving almost at 30mph with a wicked grin on his face. They hadn't mastered turning or going down in gears but soon they were running out of airfield.

"Best start to slow down babe." Tony suggested as he saw the approaching sea in front of them.

"how do I do that?" Loki asked while looking down at his feet for the break panel.

"The break! And keep your eyes facing up!" Tony yelled and reached over to turn the wheel before they flew of the side. Loki placed his foot hard down on the break sending the car in to a stuttering stop and both of them flying forwards. Tony coughed as the belt pressed into the arc reactor in his chest but soon started laughing more. "Oh god babe, I don't think me teaching you is such a good idea."

"Well you should have told me to slow down sooner!" Loki snapped, "And stop laughing at me!"

"I can't help it, you suck at this." Tony continued to laugh until tears formed in the corner of his eyes, it was only fuelled more by the look of utter annoyance on Loki's face.

"I've only been driving for 15 minutes! You can't expect me to master such a skill in such a short time!" he grumbled as he sent a weak golt of magic out of his finger and against Tony's arm, making him yelp and shut up.

"Ow! Fine" Tony rubbed his arm, "then lets continue, start up the car and we'll work from there."

Twenty minutes later and Loki had mastered breaking without stalling the car and could even turn, but the novelty of teaching Loki how to drive was rubbing off and Tony was starting to get distracted by those slender fingers gliding over the wheel and reaching out for the gear stick.  
>He paced a hand over Loki's when he reached down and entwined their fingers.<p>

"What are you doing?" Loki asked as he tried to pull his hand away to put it back to the 10 and 2 positions that Tony had showed him.

"This is how all instructors teach." Tony smirked and lifted Loki's hand to put on his knee.

"I highly doubt it."

"It's a Midgard thing." He slowly guided Loki's hand to the front of his trousers.

"Do you want me to crash and kill us both?" Loki groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Crash into what? There's nothing here." Tony laughed. "Just stay away from the edge and away from the water and where peachy."

"Stark!" The God warned with a slight hard grip on the front of Tony's pants, "Let me concentrate and I may be so benevolent later."

"Fine!" Tony's voice took on a new lever of high at the tight grip.

After another 20 minutes Loki had pretty much mastered the basics of driving, he wasn't ready to go out on the roads yet of course but he was closer then he was three quarters of an hour ago.  
>"I knew you'd pick his up fast." Tony smiled and gave him a pat on the back.<p>

"This is easy compared to the ships they have in some of the other nine realms." Loki smugly replied "But I would use my magic on most of them if I wasn't able to control them." He slowly moved his seat back then paced his feet up on the wheel, then with pointed fingers he made the car move on its own.

"Hey that's cheating!" Tony gasped in an over the top manor, nothing Loki did really surprised him anymore.

"It's not cheating, it's advanced driving." Loki winked at him, he clenched his hand then unclenched almost in a pushing motion and the car sped up.

"That's more like it!" Tony grinned.

The old car hummed loudly as Loki pushed it to its limits of speed and guided it around the track. Tony whooped and wooed as they were almost lifted on to two wheels when Loki took a very sharp turn just before they reached the water.

Unfortunately the fun didn't last for too long, there was a loud pop sound that same from the front left of the car, followed by a sudden bang as the front wheel flew off. The car slanted to the side and sparks flew past the drivers window as metal hit concrete. Loki panicked for a moment thumped his hand on the wheel to stop the car but the sudden stop sent the car hurling in a spin and off the edge of the airfield into the water.

"Shit!" Loki gasped as the water began to pool at his feet.

"You destroyed my fucking car!" Tony yelled as he clutched his chest, he'd turned considerately pale.

"It was a heap of junk to start with!" Loki yelled back and tried to open the door, which wouldn't budge. "The door won't open."

"You're meant to wait until the car fills up with water, but fuck if I'll wait that long." Tony looked for something to smash the window open with, the water was almost up to their waist now, "Wait...can't you just teleport us out of here?"

"Oh...yes I suppose I could." Loki blinked. He reached over for Tony's hand and teleported them back to the airfield.

"Thank God." Tony gasped as if he'd actually been under water "You couldn't have teleported the car too?"

"And use my magic up on that heap of scrap metal, I think not." Loki folded his arms and watched as the last inch of car sank into the murky water.

"Well do you have enough to get us back to the tower?" Tony asked looking a little hopeful. Loki rolled his eyes and took hold of him again.

"Come on, I believe I owe you a new ride anyway." He wrapped his arms around Tony and teleported them away back to the safety of Tony's tower.

Tony wasn't too surprised that after that Loki seemed to lose all interest in driving.


End file.
